Asian Talent is Cool

Headbands From Leftover Fabrics

I really didn't want to throw away any type of fabric I have, 'coz eventually I'll find a use for them. That's why it was difficult for me to get rid of my old clothes. I know I would be needing them for something but too bad mom got to them first. So anyway, these are made from the leftover fabrics I had from sewing practice.

I tried combining crochet with the second headband.

Hope you like them!!!

^_^

Punk Top Hat Headband

All this free time I have got me working on this... 

I've always wanted to make a headband with a hat. I finally did it but it was very difficult to make. It really tested my patience. But it turned out great and I'm proud of the outcome.

^_^

Breaking

A lot of things can happen once a person gets his heart broken. It's like getting a scar. It's painful at the beginning, but eventually that feeling disappears but you can still see where it used to hurt. It stays with you, like a ghost haunting your memories. You'll never forget heart breaks. It becomes a part of you.

I was in love once, twice and more, and each failure with it was a lesson learned, but at the same time I grow more cautious. It made me believe that love always end up in heartaches no matter how you look at it. It's either love dies or the person dies. Either way you lose a partner and you end up hurt, disappointed, and sometimes miserable.

I don't really see the need to love anymore. It's not that I'm giving up, it's just that I don't see its value anymore. It's a beautiful thing to be in love, but it's evil in disguise, because once it's gone somehow it could end up destroying you. I don't want to go through that. It's stupid.

Hospital + Hotel = Hospitel?

I laughed the first time I heard the word "Hospitel" from my best friend when she visited me at Asian Medical Hospital. Who could blame her? The place made you feel like you're staying in a hotel rather than a hospital. I would actually consider myself on a vacation during my stay there if I wasn't ill.

Playing with the camera due to boredom

Anyway, let me start from the beginning. It was Monday, the first day of my weekly shift at work, and I wasn't really feeling like working 'coz I was so tired from my short weekend off. I told my co-worker that I would be sleeping for an hour just to make up for the lack of sleep and that I would just need to do overtime later, he agreed to tell my boss as soon as he arrives.

Thirty minutes later in the extremely freezing sleeping room, I felt a sudden sharp pain on the side of my stomach. At first I thought it was because I was just cold and that my shivering might have caused the pain. I sat up and that's when the pain sent me curling down. I tried standing up, but the sharp needle-like sensation at the side of my stomach made it difficult for me to stay up, and even walk.

I made my way to the bathroom, thinking it was another bad episode of Urinary Tract Infection, and that maybe urinating might help get rid of it. It didn't, so i immediately thought of heading to the clinic. I was so thankful that I was already on the second floor 'coz I wasn't sure if I could make it there.

The nurse on duty made me take pain killers and I requested to lie down, since I could barely stand up. The same time, my boss was already looking for me. Five minutes later I heard a voice at the door asking for my name, and the nurse informed my boss and co-worker of my condition. My boss told me that after I'm done resting, he would need to see me down the operation area to talk to me. At that time I was still trying to fight the pain, but the only thing that was going through my head is that, I know work is important but in my current condition he seriously expects me to walk out of the clinic without any complications?

Another five minutes and the pain killers wasn't working. I asked the nurse how long it would take before it takes effect. He looked concerned so he suggested that I'd be sent to the hospital. It was already 1:00 AM, there was no way my brother could pick me up. There was also no way for him to take me home in my condition, so I had no choice. The hospital was my only option.

Since it was difficult for me to walk, the nurse told me that he would take me downstairs on a wheelchair. A rational person would think that makes perfect sense but I was all like "say what?". A picture of myself being paraded in that contraption swiftly crossed my mind and I could feel my face burning up with embarrassment, but I had no choice right? I wasn't a rational person, I consider myself immature and a little weird, so my hesitation to the situation was pretty predictable. It was a good thing that the nurse was friendly, I actually asked him if he could also provide a paper bag to put over my head, 'coz rolling on wheelchair at work wasn't exactly a picture of glamour (no offense to those who actually use wheelchairs to get around, I have nothing against you).

Anyway, as if that wasn't bad enough, when we got downstairs there was an ambulance with those big red and blue lights flashing by the entrance and I was like "OMFG!". These people aren't familiar with the word subtle. And to add more to the already humiliating situation they put me on a stretcher! I wasn't shot or stabbed, I had a stomach pain and a stretcher wasn't really necessary, but again...I had no choice.

I pretended that the flashing lights from the ambulance was a group of paparazzi as I was pulled out of the building for everyone to see. I pretended to be like Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan being arrested for drug abuse, that seemed more interesting, but for the record I don't like them.

Before we left, the medic examined me and asked me series of questions. It took a good five minutes. My boss accompanied me to the hospital, (so thanks boss!). He was sitting at the front while the medic continued to interview me. At first I thought it was still part of some medical-related stuff but then he asked for my number and I was like "oh..." Unfortunately I was stupid enough to give it to him 'coz I was thinking, "you'll never know when there's an emergency and you need an ambulance." it was a dumb thought, but then again we don't really have emergency numbers like 911 so I thought it was a good idea to be "friends" with someone like that.

So moving on, we arrived at the hospital and they took me to this room that says Urgent Care. It was basically the Emergency Room. I was there for several hours and three doctors attended to me. The first one I wasn't sure what she does, but the second and third was a surgeon and an OB Gynecologist, respectively. Not sure if I got the third one right though.

I was under observation the whole time and they hooked me up on what they call an IV? They did some blood and urine tests. They told me theories of what could be wrong with me, and my boss left shortly after they told us what they're going to do.

Hospital suite window

I was also waiting for a room to be available for me. My insurance only covers the standard room, I think they call it a Premium Suite. I was sort of wondering why they call it that, because regular hospitals near home only has two types of rooms as far as I know, and it's either a public/shared room or a private one. I figured since the place was known for being expensive their services and facilities must have more class.

It took about approximately 16 hours before I got a room, and from the moment I was in Urgent Care they instructed me not to take any food or water, so I felt half-dead before they got me to my "suite". After an hour, my best friend came and she had a look around and she was like "wow, is this a hospital or a hotel?" Then she started checking out the bathroom and the view of the city (which was gorgeous at night). Then she finally said " this is not a hospital, it's a hospitel. A hospital and a hotel". I would have cracked up if I wasn't so weak from food and liquid deprivation.

The closet with the fridge.

After 18 hours of waiting, the doctor, which was the surgeon, came to see me. He did the rebound pain test and it was a little painful when he did that. It felt like my insides were bruised. Anyway, he finally let me eat! And at the time I didn't care how much I took in, I just ate like there's no tomorrow. The hospital food by the way wasn't so bad, but I am still a Filipina and I still prefer Filipino food over steaks and fillets.

The doctor said I had to stop eating after 12 midnight. I thought it was pretty reasonable at first. My other best friend stayed over to watch over me that night (thanks girl!) and when I woke up the nurse came in and my girl left for work. The nurse told me I still couldn't eat but they kept bringing in food so I just stuffed them in the fridge.

I actually stopped eating at 8:00 PM so I was pretty hungry when I woke up. It was tolerable of course, I did have my fair share of fasting way back, but then after lunch I was not feeling too cool about it. By that time it was already 16 hours since my last meal and I was getting a little grouchy. The doctor did another rebound test and the pain was worse this time so he told me I was getting surgery so he could take a peek at my appendix (did I spell that right?). I was scheduled to go to the operating room after an hour or two so I called up my brother to let my mom and my grandma know my situation, but they didn't get there in time.

I was already taken to the waiting room for surgery and it felt kind of weird and cool at the same time. When they were taking me there I was seeing the ceiling the same way a patient would see it in the movies, except for my scenario there was no crying relative telling me to be strong or not to die and just hold on. It made me feel a bit lonely, but that's the story of my life, something I have to put up with every day. Anyway, I was imagining doctors rushing over me speaking medical jargon just to make the whole situation enjoyable. After all, I was gonna get cut up--something I would not include in my fantasies. But the laughs and mindless rants of the nurses who were pushing my bed broke my thoughts. They were goofing off, which basically ruined the atmosphere for me.

It was cold in the waiting room, and without food and water I was feeling really weak. In fact I was having difficulty staying awake. If it wasn't for the constant rambling on the other side of the curtain (I wasn't the only patient there) I would've dozed off. Then of course, there was the problem with the IV. It made me feel the need to urinate every 10 minutes--sometimes shorter. It was a bit hellish having all those feelings mixed up, and what's worse was that I hated using a bedpan. It was weird and gross. It felt worse than a peeing in a  public bathroom.

Anyway, when I got to the operating room everything about the procedure was already explained to me. They strapped stuff on me, hooked me up with oxygen and all that and it was really uncomfortable. They had to unstrap me again though because they needed to numb the bottom half of my body, but I never knew how that happened. They just told me to lie on my side and I suddenly blacked out.

I woke up with someone saying "it's done, clean her up". My tummy felt like it was being rubbed with something cold and my hands were shaking violently. I was saying something to them that I couldn't remember but I basically felt like I was either stoned or really drunk. I woke up in the recovery room after that.

My legs were still numb and they felt like rolled up rug when I touched them. Being half a vegetable is scary. I still couldn't eat so I was pretty weakened by the whole thing. I couldn't breathe even with the oxygen and my cut really hurt. They already injected me with pain killers thrice but the pain was still there. I was starting to think that I was immune to them.

They took me back to my room around 8:00 PM. That time I had fully regained control of my legs. My grandmother and brother was already there but I felt so weak, hungry and pained that I couldn't really pay attention to anything. It took about 36 hours before they let me eat, so imagine how that's like.

The rest of my stay there pretty much involved either pain or more pain so I'm not going to get into detail, I think you get the picture already. But the hospital was great. The nurses there were extremely accommodating and friendly and the room was comforting. If it wasn't for the regular checkups from the nurse you'd actually think you're staying there for vacation. If I get sick again--hopefully not of course--I wouldn't mind being admitted to that hospital, 'coz on my last day before I left, the staff gave me a rose with a get well card. That's what I call good treatment.

^_^

Yellow Butterfly Headband

Made this after the finishing with the Maid-Sama headband...

^_^

Kaichou Maid-Sama Inspired Headband

Inspired by Kaichou Maid-Sama

Top View

I like goth style costumes. Just thought of making this 'coz I thought it was cute.





If you guys are curious on how I made this, don't hesitate to ask. ^_^

Side View

I Got You In My Mind

To simply put it, I am confused about something and I don't like feeling this way.

Digital Cosplay

      So I Googled the word Digital Cosplay just now. I found out it refers to taking artistic photos of cosplayers. Then I was thinking of all the drawing I did on my pictures to make it look like I am wearing a costume. It's digital art, so is it considered digital cosplay?

     I have to admit I'm still new to photo editing and digital drawing. I just hope I can improve fast, because I really want to fill this blog with cool pictures. 

^_^

Trying an Online Photo Editor

JPGfun.com

I was browsing the web for something I could play with, and I decided to look for an online editor. Most of them are pretty much the same. They all have the effects, frames and magazine features.

So I chose a random design from the magazine gallery and voila!


Try it ^_^

Tekken Boy

Anthony Dichosa as Devil Jin

This is another practice of animating some real photos I've taken. As you can see I have no problem with the eyes. What I'm having problems with is the shadow effect. Since I wanted it to have an anime look, I have to study shadow and lighting in anime drawing.

Wish me luck ^_^

Bloody Assassin

Another edit...

^_^

Animated

I've been editing pictures again. This time I'm not using Sims2, but photos of real people. I was my first subject... I need more practice...

First Attempt....

My second attempt sort of scared a few people XD...

My third attempt was an experiment that didn't go as I wanted to... I would need to make it up to the person in the photo. He's a good friend of mine and an absolute Naruto fan.

Anyways... Enjoy!!!

^_^

Pintados Night with Yield Avenue

Pintados Night was an unexpected event for me and my best friend Yen, but since our high school buddy's band (Yield Avenue) will be performing, we decided to check it out.

We were surprised to see this once we entered 8 Corners Restobar. I was expecting that Pintados Night was an event where people with tattoos gather up, but it turned out to be an even where you get to try what it feels like to have a tattoo...real or not.

If you're planning to get a real tattoo, they will use these equipment on you. But there was no way we'd get marked permanently.

Yen got a Japanese character tattoo, while I got something random from the tattoo artist.

We spent the rest of the night watching Yield Avenue perform. They're awesome. ^_^

Then we met up with some high school buddies and of course Yield Avenue!

^_^

The Unemployed

It took me a few hours after I got the news that I was being temporarily laid off for the thought to sink in. I was walking away from the building when I suddenly stopped and thought that I was practically jobless. My knees felt a little wobbly after that. I almost thought that I would slowly melt on the sidewalk if I kept still. So I walked home with hundreds of questions in my head.


Today I realized that I was officially an adult ( which is funny I know). When did I start to become so old? Things like these don't bother me this much. I guess it's because I was getting a lot of nothing that I began to seek for a little something. People always want what they don't have right?

So money is still the issue here. I didn't come from a rich family, but I also didn't come from a poor one as well. But why am I struggling so much? I don't want to blame anybody, 'coz in the end I know I just have to accept the way things are. Pointing fingers won't get me anywhere. What's been done has been done.

It would be nice to have some miracle after this dilemma. I mean, I wasn't even able to save up anything because everything just seems to go wrong every time money comes in, so I'll always end up spending. I did not choose this kind of life, and sometimes I'm left to think that we're really not capable of choosing for ourselves at all.

The life of an unemployed is hard to adjust to after having to experience the convenience of having a job. I'm not sure how long I could stay sane without a source of livelihood. But one thing's for sure, I cannot just sit here and wait for something to happen. You always have to take action before you get a reaction, right?

My First Wearable Dress

Now I don't usually wear dresses. But this one is easy to sew, and I'm just learning the basics. Anyway, my best friend and I picked out this fabric, not sure if you like it, but it works for me. The choker I'm wearing was just an experiment, good to know it's useful. 

The hat I'm wearing is a smaller version of a crocheted bobble hat. I made this about a year ago.

Here's a close up.

.....

I finally had time to use my new sewing machine. I hope I can get used to it with more practice..

^_^

Made Something Again

I made this choker today 'coz I got nothing better to do. I don't have cash to go shopping and stuff so I basically just stayed home. Then I found my old crochet kit and started this project. Do you like it?

^_^

Random

Why do I blog? At first I thought keeping a blog is a great way to express yourself. Then later on it sort of felt like blogging is just a way of telling people that you're hoping what you say matters to everybody else. After that I figured I'd make some money out of it, but in the end I just stopped caring.

But why do I still keep this blog? I really don't know. I guess it's just a good place to vent out. It's my own personal space that's made public (which seems funny to me).

This is just a random thought. Nothing important.

Sweet Rachel

Researched some new tutorials for digital painting. Read on how to paint skin and painted a portrait of my friend. I used her photo as reference. I don't think I'll be able to create a good palette on my own yet, but the experiment went good. 

^_^

Boredom Can Sometimes Become Productive

I still can't continue The Hunger! It's starting to drive me nuts. Good thing I can do other things to keep my mind off this discomfort. x_X

Here it is! ^_^

The original character for this story, right before my hard drive was plagued by a dangerous spyware, had blue eyes so I changed the color. I was a bit nervous 'coz I usually fail when I do that, LOL. Anyway, I like it even if the hair isn't perfect. I was going for the wet look but this is as good as I can draw it. X_X

Playing With Tasha

I love my story's characters. I love playing around with them in GIMP. Hopefully this will push me to write again.^_^

Practice

I named this one Damien, 'coz the brush I used for the green circles came from a guy named Damien, I think.

Anyway, just practicing for discovering techniques, but I don't think there's much improvement. Maybe I should really invest on a better tablet... Or maybe I should just go to art school, (but that's unlikely to happen, hmph! -dream slowly fades-)

What do you think?

Bound

Sometimes when I think a lot, it seems like my world becomes smaller. Ever noticed that when you spend more time doing one thing everything just revolves around it? It happens at any age I guess.

When I was a little girl, I was trapped in a fantasy world where what matters above all is to play and have fun, and I just see the entire world as a playground. Then when I became a teenager and puberty sank in, my mind was wrapped around crushes and making friends. What mattered to me was looking good and getting noticed. Then college came along with minor changes with my thinking. I buried my mind with thoughts of becoming successful and all I did was study my butt off. Of course, I still socialized but I was consumed by my dreams that everything I did had to do something with achieving just that. And right now, I just want to write and that's all I can think about.

The world becomes smaller as you focus too much in something, and I can't help but wonder if that's a good thing.

Tick Tock

I feel like the white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. I'm late for something, but I can't figure out what that something is. I've been having this feeling since last year. It's like something is telling me to hurry, and right now I feel like the clock is ticking a little louder than usual.

I have to finish it. I have to finish the book--or books. It made me wonder if this was the reason why I was given a gift to write and draw. Was it really to send out this message?

It's funny how paranoia creeps on you when you spend most of your time alone, seeing the world through a monitor. But even if I try to be normal and go out like everybody else, when the world stops for a second, I could still hear the clock ticking.

I'm late, I'm late for a very special date...

Why Bother?

I want to study art or writing, whichever is available, but instead I'm stuck calculating money. I don't like it, so why bother? I'm planning on getting a job and pay for classes in the process... I'm not really sure if I could do that though... I'm guessing I might flunk a few subjects this semester, I don't have the heart to work hard for a good grade anymore. It's just that I don't want to be computing numbers for the rest of my life. I need creativity! So why bother?

Invisible Wall

Okay so here I am writing something else when I should be focused on writing my novel more. I swear I want to beat myself up for procrastinating.

The thing is, I'm having Kyle issues at the moment and I'm not sure if my choices for his character's actions would cause my readers to hate him. I don't want them to hate Kyle! But anyway, I was actually at that part of my chapter when I just stopped writing and told myself, I'm not really sure if I should be going in this direction. After that I turned my computer off and did the only thing I could. I daydreamed and wrote notes and played with the idea in my head.

Everything was okay, I was able to handle the obstacles it's just that...I can't write it. It's stupid actually. How can I not write something I can write?The information is there, everything has fallen into place, but for the past week all I've done was just re-read the chapter and just stare at the blank space at the end of the page. I can't do it and I can't figure out why I'm so afraid to touch the subject. And with that in mind, I feel like the world of The Hunger is getting smaller by the day.

Is being a writer really healthy? I mean, being able to finish a chapter is really rewarding. It makes me feel good about myself but once I get to the point where I can't really write anything, I feel like I've bestowed upon myself this huge problem that wasn't even supposed to exist if I had decided not to write in the first place. The whole idea of wanting to write something, but not wanting to write it had put this heavy weight on my shoulders that every time I would sit in front of the computer this weight would become heavier and my mind would be blocked by an invisible wall, hindering me from continuing to the next paragraph of the story.

Is there like a degree of writer's block? Some writers actually seek therapy to cure this appropriate term for laziness that I was considering of doing the same. But alas, living in this country limits any benefits a normal person should have. So the only thing left for me to think of is how to break the invisible wall and just get the writing over with.

A Writer?

I love writing ever since I was a little girl. It's my second favorite hobby. The first one is drawing, since I liked this longer. I've been a baby writer since I can remember and the reason why I don't have the courage to call myself a real writer is because of the lack of experience.

Many people call themselves writers because they write stories, poems, essays, etc. But there are some, like me, who only wants to write one thing--a novel. Now I have lots ideas for a novel and the first chapters of those ideas are collecting dust in some envelope in my room. The reason why I can't claim myself as a writer is because I haven't really finished any story, ever.

I have written dozens of stories with beginnings but no ends and I'm a bit worried that after a few years I might still be like this. Writing a novel is difficult for many, and I'm one of those many people who struggles to find the right words to communicate exactly what I want my readers to picture. I believe every writer makes their own rules on what style they'll use for every novel, but what hinders me is the general rule that most people use to categorize a work as a good story.

So here I am wondering if it's all right to call myself a writer when I have nothing to show to claim such title. What does it take to be a writer anyway? As long as you write, you're a writer? But isn't that the same as saying as long as you can take pictures, you're a photographer? I know a lot of people don't agree with that.

So how can you really say that you're a writer?

Old Stories

Been digging up on some of the stories I wrote back when I was still in high school and I'm thinking of continuing some once I'm done with The Hunger. I made Sims 2 edits to inspire me.

Dark Progeny

Character: Akira

 

I Died Yesterday

Character: Ayu and Aya

 

Still trying to get the story to bubble in my head but I'm sure I'll be able to write these better than The Hunger.

^_^

Drawing Manga

I got bored with writing the novel and I'm thinking of letting it rest for a while. So while I'm refreshing my mind I decided to work on my other project. I used to be a Wonderland Online (WLO) player and we have this guild named Heart, and I told my guild leader that I want to create a Manga about our guild. So I started practicing drawing some characters. Here's some of them. I'll post the others once I'm done. ^_^

 

Falling In Love with Fictional Characters

It's been very difficult for me to write scenes with just Dawn and Kyle. When I drew Riley from the beginning, I had difficulty creating a Kyle that would look as good. It took me three attempts to get the right Kyle. Not only that, but the competition between them had already been set by the audience.


I've posted their photos in Facebook to see who would get most votes. Kyle couldn't even catch up to Riley. The score was 8 to 2. And with that in mind, I couldn't allow my brain to like Kyle more, which was difficult since Dawn was supposed to feel good around him. And every time I would write scenes with them together all that was in my mind was Riley is much suited for Dawn.


I believe at some point it was my fault. I shouldn't have allowed votes in the first place, but I needed to know who people preferred as Dawn's leading man in the story. The thing is, before I posted the guys' photos I had no idea who Dawn was going to end up with. And judging by the votes, I might lose my audience if she ended up with Kyle.


I'm not saying that she would end up with Riley as I kept thinking that I might add another character or change the ending, but for now I guess I should let the audience love Riley, while I try to regain my love for Kyle's character. My best friend and I actually prefer him over Riley, but since I haven't written much about him yet, the audience might still have a chance to change their minds.