I Got You In My Mind

To simply put it, I am confused about something and I don't like feeling this way.

Digital Cosplay

      So I Googled the word Digital Cosplay just now. I found out it refers to taking artistic photos of cosplayers. Then I was thinking of all the drawing I did on my pictures to make it look like I am wearing a costume. It's digital art, so is it considered digital cosplay?

     I have to admit I'm still new to photo editing and digital drawing. I just hope I can improve fast, because I really want to fill this blog with cool pictures. 

^_^

Trying an Online Photo Editor

JPGfun.com

I was browsing the web for something I could play with, and I decided to look for an online editor. Most of them are pretty much the same. They all have the effects, frames and magazine features.

So I chose a random design from the magazine gallery and voila!


Try it ^_^

Tekken Boy

Anthony Dichosa as Devil Jin

This is another practice of animating some real photos I've taken. As you can see I have no problem with the eyes. What I'm having problems with is the shadow effect. Since I wanted it to have an anime look, I have to study shadow and lighting in anime drawing.

Wish me luck ^_^

Bloody Assassin

Another edit...

^_^

Animated

I've been editing pictures again. This time I'm not using Sims2, but photos of real people. I was my first subject... I need more practice...

First Attempt....

My second attempt sort of scared a few people XD...

My third attempt was an experiment that didn't go as I wanted to... I would need to make it up to the person in the photo. He's a good friend of mine and an absolute Naruto fan.

Anyways... Enjoy!!!

^_^

Pintados Night with Yield Avenue

Pintados Night was an unexpected event for me and my best friend Yen, but since our high school buddy's band (Yield Avenue) will be performing, we decided to check it out.

We were surprised to see this once we entered 8 Corners Restobar. I was expecting that Pintados Night was an event where people with tattoos gather up, but it turned out to be an even where you get to try what it feels like to have a tattoo...real or not.

If you're planning to get a real tattoo, they will use these equipment on you. But there was no way we'd get marked permanently.

Yen got a Japanese character tattoo, while I got something random from the tattoo artist.

We spent the rest of the night watching Yield Avenue perform. They're awesome. ^_^

Then we met up with some high school buddies and of course Yield Avenue!

^_^

The Unemployed

It took me a few hours after I got the news that I was being temporarily laid off for the thought to sink in. I was walking away from the building when I suddenly stopped and thought that I was practically jobless. My knees felt a little wobbly after that. I almost thought that I would slowly melt on the sidewalk if I kept still. So I walked home with hundreds of questions in my head.


Today I realized that I was officially an adult ( which is funny I know). When did I start to become so old? Things like these don't bother me this much. I guess it's because I was getting a lot of nothing that I began to seek for a little something. People always want what they don't have right?

So money is still the issue here. I didn't come from a rich family, but I also didn't come from a poor one as well. But why am I struggling so much? I don't want to blame anybody, 'coz in the end I know I just have to accept the way things are. Pointing fingers won't get me anywhere. What's been done has been done.

It would be nice to have some miracle after this dilemma. I mean, I wasn't even able to save up anything because everything just seems to go wrong every time money comes in, so I'll always end up spending. I did not choose this kind of life, and sometimes I'm left to think that we're really not capable of choosing for ourselves at all.

The life of an unemployed is hard to adjust to after having to experience the convenience of having a job. I'm not sure how long I could stay sane without a source of livelihood. But one thing's for sure, I cannot just sit here and wait for something to happen. You always have to take action before you get a reaction, right?

My First Wearable Dress

Now I don't usually wear dresses. But this one is easy to sew, and I'm just learning the basics. Anyway, my best friend and I picked out this fabric, not sure if you like it, but it works for me. The choker I'm wearing was just an experiment, good to know it's useful. 

The hat I'm wearing is a smaller version of a crocheted bobble hat. I made this about a year ago.

Here's a close up.

.....

I finally had time to use my new sewing machine. I hope I can get used to it with more practice..

^_^

Made Something Again

I made this choker today 'coz I got nothing better to do. I don't have cash to go shopping and stuff so I basically just stayed home. Then I found my old crochet kit and started this project. Do you like it?

^_^

Random

Why do I blog? At first I thought keeping a blog is a great way to express yourself. Then later on it sort of felt like blogging is just a way of telling people that you're hoping what you say matters to everybody else. After that I figured I'd make some money out of it, but in the end I just stopped caring.

But why do I still keep this blog? I really don't know. I guess it's just a good place to vent out. It's my own personal space that's made public (which seems funny to me).

This is just a random thought. Nothing important.

Sweet Rachel

Researched some new tutorials for digital painting. Read on how to paint skin and painted a portrait of my friend. I used her photo as reference. I don't think I'll be able to create a good palette on my own yet, but the experiment went good. 

^_^

Boredom Can Sometimes Become Productive

I still can't continue The Hunger! It's starting to drive me nuts. Good thing I can do other things to keep my mind off this discomfort. x_X

Here it is! ^_^

The original character for this story, right before my hard drive was plagued by a dangerous spyware, had blue eyes so I changed the color. I was a bit nervous 'coz I usually fail when I do that, LOL. Anyway, I like it even if the hair isn't perfect. I was going for the wet look but this is as good as I can draw it. X_X

Playing With Tasha

I love my story's characters. I love playing around with them in GIMP. Hopefully this will push me to write again.^_^

Practice

I named this one Damien, 'coz the brush I used for the green circles came from a guy named Damien, I think.

Anyway, just practicing for discovering techniques, but I don't think there's much improvement. Maybe I should really invest on a better tablet... Or maybe I should just go to art school, (but that's unlikely to happen, hmph! -dream slowly fades-)

What do you think?

Bound

Sometimes when I think a lot, it seems like my world becomes smaller. Ever noticed that when you spend more time doing one thing everything just revolves around it? It happens at any age I guess.

When I was a little girl, I was trapped in a fantasy world where what matters above all is to play and have fun, and I just see the entire world as a playground. Then when I became a teenager and puberty sank in, my mind was wrapped around crushes and making friends. What mattered to me was looking good and getting noticed. Then college came along with minor changes with my thinking. I buried my mind with thoughts of becoming successful and all I did was study my butt off. Of course, I still socialized but I was consumed by my dreams that everything I did had to do something with achieving just that. And right now, I just want to write and that's all I can think about.

The world becomes smaller as you focus too much in something, and I can't help but wonder if that's a good thing.

Tick Tock

I feel like the white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. I'm late for something, but I can't figure out what that something is. I've been having this feeling since last year. It's like something is telling me to hurry, and right now I feel like the clock is ticking a little louder than usual.

I have to finish it. I have to finish the book--or books. It made me wonder if this was the reason why I was given a gift to write and draw. Was it really to send out this message?

It's funny how paranoia creeps on you when you spend most of your time alone, seeing the world through a monitor. But even if I try to be normal and go out like everybody else, when the world stops for a second, I could still hear the clock ticking.

I'm late, I'm late for a very special date...

Why Bother?

I want to study art or writing, whichever is available, but instead I'm stuck calculating money. I don't like it, so why bother? I'm planning on getting a job and pay for classes in the process... I'm not really sure if I could do that though... I'm guessing I might flunk a few subjects this semester, I don't have the heart to work hard for a good grade anymore. It's just that I don't want to be computing numbers for the rest of my life. I need creativity! So why bother?

Invisible Wall

Okay so here I am writing something else when I should be focused on writing my novel more. I swear I want to beat myself up for procrastinating.

The thing is, I'm having Kyle issues at the moment and I'm not sure if my choices for his character's actions would cause my readers to hate him. I don't want them to hate Kyle! But anyway, I was actually at that part of my chapter when I just stopped writing and told myself, I'm not really sure if I should be going in this direction. After that I turned my computer off and did the only thing I could. I daydreamed and wrote notes and played with the idea in my head.

Everything was okay, I was able to handle the obstacles it's just that...I can't write it. It's stupid actually. How can I not write something I can write?The information is there, everything has fallen into place, but for the past week all I've done was just re-read the chapter and just stare at the blank space at the end of the page. I can't do it and I can't figure out why I'm so afraid to touch the subject. And with that in mind, I feel like the world of The Hunger is getting smaller by the day.

Is being a writer really healthy? I mean, being able to finish a chapter is really rewarding. It makes me feel good about myself but once I get to the point where I can't really write anything, I feel like I've bestowed upon myself this huge problem that wasn't even supposed to exist if I had decided not to write in the first place. The whole idea of wanting to write something, but not wanting to write it had put this heavy weight on my shoulders that every time I would sit in front of the computer this weight would become heavier and my mind would be blocked by an invisible wall, hindering me from continuing to the next paragraph of the story.

Is there like a degree of writer's block? Some writers actually seek therapy to cure this appropriate term for laziness that I was considering of doing the same. But alas, living in this country limits any benefits a normal person should have. So the only thing left for me to think of is how to break the invisible wall and just get the writing over with.

A Writer?

I love writing ever since I was a little girl. It's my second favorite hobby. The first one is drawing, since I liked this longer. I've been a baby writer since I can remember and the reason why I don't have the courage to call myself a real writer is because of the lack of experience.

Many people call themselves writers because they write stories, poems, essays, etc. But there are some, like me, who only wants to write one thing--a novel. Now I have lots ideas for a novel and the first chapters of those ideas are collecting dust in some envelope in my room. The reason why I can't claim myself as a writer is because I haven't really finished any story, ever.

I have written dozens of stories with beginnings but no ends and I'm a bit worried that after a few years I might still be like this. Writing a novel is difficult for many, and I'm one of those many people who struggles to find the right words to communicate exactly what I want my readers to picture. I believe every writer makes their own rules on what style they'll use for every novel, but what hinders me is the general rule that most people use to categorize a work as a good story.

So here I am wondering if it's all right to call myself a writer when I have nothing to show to claim such title. What does it take to be a writer anyway? As long as you write, you're a writer? But isn't that the same as saying as long as you can take pictures, you're a photographer? I know a lot of people don't agree with that.

So how can you really say that you're a writer?