Not Good

I've worked on a digital painting yesterday. I was fairly satisfied with my work but when I went and took a second look at it, I was very disappointed. I like to believe that I'm good but somehow I'm having problems convincing myself, because inside I know I'm still not good enough.

I usually compare myself to professional artists--which is stupid because it doesn't really help with my self-esteem. But every time I look at their work, I see mine as trashy and ugly. I feel like a kid comparing her school art project with a well-known artist. And still in my head, a voice whispers saying: 'I can make something like that. I can make something great too.'

I know I need practice but I don't feel like I do. What I need are the right tools. But then again, how can I call myself great if I can't make a wonderful art with what I have?

I still wonder what I need to be as good as they are. Say that I'm too proud, I don't really care. I know I'm good, I just don't know how to be good. Perhaps what I lack most is knowledge of the art. You can't really fight with a sword without knowing how to swing it. If only time will allow me do what's needed for me to succeed, but apparently The Almighty has other plans for me. I can't really fight it, no matter how much I want to go the other way--which is what I want for myself. But hence, His will be done.